Monday, March 31, 2008

Mind Over Wee

I have been trying to be good. I have gone through some arguably serious mental and physical upheaval, and I have done it with (I think) remarkable good humor. I coped with going from semi-big-shot corporate-type to apartment-bound recluse without too much whining. I was a trooper when suddenly walking to the mail box was a big accomplishment, and while I am mourning my crowning glory of hair that I just got the way I liked it, I have not been screaming and crying in the streets.

But, there are some things I will not stand for. When my hands suddenly say, "you know what, all these funky chemicals are making our nerve connections screwy, so we're not going to listen to you anymore", chemotherapy has gone too far. I know that it is a necessary process and that I'll die without it, but damn it, I will not be a big lump of chemo-brained, neuopathy-plagued silly putty. I am going to go screaming and kicking into that good night, and when I come out of it I will do everything in my power to have my sanity and self-worth still attached.

And if that means that it takes me four screamingly frustrating hours to knit a wee sock, then bring it on.

Keychain Sock Pattern: Knit Picks Bare - Superwash Merino/Nylon Fingering Weight, Kool-Aid dyed by myself


I am exceptionally proud of this teeny sock. This made it in the post (yep, made it to the mailbox today!) for Elizabeth this morning. Check out her blog for some really fabulous colors; she's an amazing spinner. As for me, I'm going to try working on the bigger needles and get some more Clapotis done while I wait for all my en route deliveries to show up. Wee!

4 comments:

errs said...

You have handled all of this with an amazing level of grace and aplomb. I think that you are allowed to kick and scream at a tiny little sock. Seriously, I'd be crying at having to do such a tiny little sock. Heck, I'm crying knitting the husband's HUGE socks.

Remind your neurons that knitting is good and work on that Clapotis for awhile.

And congratulations to making it to the mailbox. :D

throwslikeagirl74 said...

I have two categories of knitting now, chemo knitting and the other stuff I might get to before the year is out. The Chemo knitting projects are all simple with very little counting involved. I'm am so proud of you for finishing the sock. I cast on for a normal size one yesterday and it's already in the frog pond.

KnelleyBelley said...

That sock was definitely worth all of the effort you had to put into it. Adorable. I can't wait to get mine in the mail. Just checked, but not yet.

When I went through my chemo, I knit a whole lot of garter stitch. Tons of garter stitch. Big rectangles of garter stitch. When everything felt like it was working right, I worked on the projects that needed the brain power and coordination.

And don't worry - it'll all come back!

sprite said...

Go you! I think that wee tiny sock is wonderful and the fact that it took you so much time and pain will just make your recipient that much more appreciative.