Cold, Stupid Knitter

In the last few years of my knitting career I have been a fairly prolific producer of items designed to keep you warm. I have countless scarves, woolen socks, sweaters, a tank top, and Cthulhu knows what else that I have knit in order to keep myself toasty. So, when the skies opened up this morning and rain finally came to the desert, was I ready?

Hell no.

After months of dragging scarves and sweaters back and forth when it was too hot to even look at alpaca, it's finally freezing and I forgot all my warmies. I found a huge zip-up sweatshirt and an almost-fun-fur acrylic scarf in the back seat of the car, so I probably won't be found on the side of the road encased in ice, but the knitterly shame is almost too much to bear.

So, I went shopping! I wanted to get something for the best guess prizes in the DUCK contest, and after spending the last month hearing about the wonders of Sheri and The Loopy Ewe on Lime 'n' Violet, I finally made and order and took my first step towards being a Loopy Groupie. Folks, I submitted my order at 9am this morning, and when I got back to my hotel (11 hours later, don't ask) the package had not only been put together, but, according to the USPS website, it has already left St Louis. I wonder if I'll get it while I'm home? Anyway, go over there and buy stuff. And tell Sheri I sent you; I want my $5.

Thursday Night Special

Sorry guys, I had to work late tonight and errs will hunt me down if I don't get some more done on the never-ending sleeves (hey errs, totally come and track me down; we'll get high off yarn fumes and go on a knitting rampage! We'll design a doggy sweater that looks like a cooked turkey!) so here's a quick bullet-post:

• I want the yarn on the Yarn Harlot's potty in the worst way.
• I have downloaded all the Knitters Uncensored podcasts. Yippee for giggling whilst knitting.
• Why does everyone have better headers than I am? I can't even figure out how to put a picture up at the top. I need a code monkey.
• Can you buy a code monkey? Will it throw poo if there's an error?
• My computer makes this cool "boing" noise when I do something it doesn't like. I will have to upset it more often.
• I'm thinking of doing something Stashonomics-based next year instead of doing a whole-hog yarn diet. Maybe make a goal of reducing my gross yardage by 10% over the year? If anyone wants to join me I might make a group for it or something.
• Then I'd HAVE to buy a code monkey.
• The need for retail therapy has passed (thank goodness), but I went and bought some shirts from threadless. They're awesome and $10, sue me.
• Oh, and I ran out of pictures to dress up the blog with. Add that to the suit.
• I lied. Please don't sue me. I need the money for yarn.
• If you see some chick with a big butt in a Wicked shirt and jammie pants with an ice bucket wandering around the hotel in her socks, it's probably me.
• If she's also got some red wooly fuzz-balls all over said socks, it's totally me.

Going knitting now, wish me luck on increase repeat 5/8.

please... send... podcasts...

What was I doing while I was carefully ignoring the DUCK project? I was making gifties!

This is the Men's Convertible Mittens pattern from KnitPicks.

People, this mitten took me two days. Two days of napping and running errands and not really concentrating on getting it done. Ends woven in, everything. Two days, think about it. Annual gift-giving time is quickly approaching folks.

The best part? The yarn is Plymouth Encore from the stash. Dad's gonna love these (if I ever get around to doing mitten #2).

I also finished up the Shoulder Wrap from the copy of Wrap Style I picked up from the hurt book sale I hit a while back.

It's not blocked yet, and it needs a super-nifty button, but the knitting is done and the ends are woven in.

I'm hoping my quilt-y aunt will like it as much as Stinker does.

Da kitty has a habit of camping out on my knitting bag when I'm home. I'm thinking that she's trying to prevent me from going out of town. Well, her plan didn't work, and apparently she's not too happy about it; I just received a report that she piddled the bed last night. It's always the sweet, smiling ones that you have to watch out for.

DUCK Update

I have a confession to make; I didn't knit at all last night. I had a long drive, long day at work, and then had dinner with my boss. I went straight to bed. Tonight, on the other hand, I knit through the first two balls on the sleeves (remember, I'm doing both sleeves at the same time) and completed another increase row. I am going in to work late tomorrow, so I'll probably stay up and bust out another couple repeats to the next increase row.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to inform you all that there has been a production-affecting issue; I am all out of Lime 'n' Violet. I have listened to all 48 episodes while knitting this sweater, and now I don't know what to do. Please, are there any suggestions for great, funny podcasts out there?

And, of course, thanks to everyone who has submitted guesses for the contest (three of you so far). I'm thinking that there are some folks out there who want to get a better idea of where I am and will submit riiiiiight before the deadline. Of course, it may be that you three are the only ones reading; in that case I think I'll try to whip up something for everyone. Prize components have already started to arrive from the various etsy sellers with which I've traded money for goods. I'm not sure if I'm going to post the goodies or not. I'm a girl that loves a surprise and I'd hate to spoil it for someone else.

Non-denominational winter holiday cards will start their postal trip to your homes probably this weekend - snail-mail if I have your address, e-mail if I don't. Cheers!

Happy Blogsgiving!

I am so sorry. I had no idea that I would take this whole vacation thing so seriously. So, here's a quick recap to get us caught up:

We went to Disneyland. HusBoy licked Jack. I have mixed feelings about this.

We cooked for 20 people this Thanksgiving, including a turkey, brisket (we're saving the ham for Hanukkah), six pies (half w/o sugar), and all the fixin's. The fixin's included the Yarn Harlot's Cranberry Sauce and Wendy's Key Lime Pie. It was a splendid holiday.

I worked on the baby hat out of my own hand-dyed sock yarn. Not bad, eh? I also got some gifty stuff done and up on Ravelry if you wanna take a peek.

Oh, and only two people submitted guesses for the great HusBoy knit-out! Doesn't anyone like snail-mail anymore? I have knit stamps!

Contest & a Card for the DUCK

I knit a while, thought about it, and came up with a way to reward y'all for taking this never-ending blue journey with me:

Presenting:

THE DUCK CONTEST

Will the intrepid Wounded Knitter finish the DUCK sweater in time? When will the torture be over? Make a guess and get a goody!

Da Rules:

1. Pick a date and time when you think I will finish the sweater between, uhm, now and 5:00 am Pacific December 25th. (If I fail to finish the DUCK project before that time, I will have failed and the HusBoy will receive the gift as-is.) Finished is sewed up, ends woven in, and buttons attached, but not blocked.
2. Send an email to lastinsite[at]verizon[dot]net by December 10th. Include your name, blog, and mailing address (optional) at the top and your bestest guess way at the bottom. I will avoid looking at the guesses until the DUCK is complete to keep things on the level.
3. Everyone who sends in a guess with their mailing address will receive a winter holiday card, signed by myself and the HusBoy if I can rope him in without letting the cat out of the bag. I don't care if I you live on the moon and postage costs more than gas, you are guaranteed to get snail-mail.
4. In addition to getting mail, two folks closest to the time actual time (before and after) will get yarn and etsy goodies. I will post pictures of the proposed goodies once they arrive and I get some alone-time with the camera. In the case of a tie, I will figure something out, trust me.

If y'all have any questions, send me an email/comment/messenger pigeon and I'll make something up. When making guesses remember that I will be home and unable to make much progress on the sleeves next week. Tell your friends, I'd hate to only send out three cards...

The Strain is Starting to Show

You know it's a bad thing when, upon telling your employees (yes, I'm supervising again) that you won't be in the office next week, they cast pitying looks in your direction and tell you to enjoy yourself and get some rest. Dear knitters, you are reading the blog of a woman on the edge. I haven't slept decently in weeks, my car is looking less "lived" in and more "eaten" in, and the poor overworked women who make my bed every day never remember to bring me replacement tea bags.

Oh god, and the shopping... I've done some serious damage on Etsy and Amazon lately, but none of the goodies are for me. Actually, one of them might be for you; let's see if I can come up with a contest so I can hand out some swell prizes. I just shut down the (GO AWAY HUSBOY!) Guitar Center website before I blew a whole lot of money on the wrong type of instrument. I was just about to log into PayPal before I thought of sleeping on it.

So, in order to assist in keeping my sanity, I will be going into the office late tomorrow. I will go down stairs and enjoy a sit-down breakfast (as apposed to my usual driving-45 breakfast). I will try not to stress out about how much I have to get done in order to carve out a guilt-free week of cooking and sleeping through black friday. I am really looking forward to being crazy at home instead of crazy 100 miles away; at least I'd be with my HusBoy. Speaking of which, I'm through my second increase on both sleeves (I'm knitting them at the same time, ain't I clever?). I cannot wait until I get to the point where I have to figure out how to block a big, wool sweater in a hotel room.

Wasted Opportunities

Well, I'm back in the wild desert, knitting in the knitting chair that the hotel so thoughtfully provides, working on the DUCK sleeves and wondering where my mother went wrong. I was always a good-natured child; always did my homework, hardly ever mouthed off (unless it was really funny), and even ate my vegetables. So, why is it that I'm sitting here knitting alone? Why didn't I think to drag you all along with me in some sort of secret knitting knit-along? We could have shared tales of having to shove a scarf into a pot of spaghetti sauce to avoid detection, or having to pass on a pair of socks to a SnB buddy because taking it home would ruin the surprise. Instead of torturing myself, I could have used the power of the internet to torture everyone! Maybe next year...

To answer Trek's question, the sweater is knit in an alternating p1, k3 and k1, p3 pattern. It's almost as mind-numbing as stockinette, but interesting enough to mess up if you zombie out too much.

Also, thanks to errs for agreeing to wait on using my new logo/button until I put out a clean version. I did a lot of work on it last weekend, look for it before the end of the month. I may even think about merchandising... Give me money people! All this yarn isn't buying itself!

Did y'all know that Ruby Sapphire Yarns on Etsy are super-cool? I convo'ed them to ask if they would recreate the yarn that was closest to my name that I had coveted last year when I was broke and couldn't afford it. They offered to work with me to make a custom colorway with my actual name on it! If this all works out, and we all hope it does, I'll offer up a skein of it as a prize of some sort, probably around my birthday. The colors I requested kinda reflect the blog (not the actual colors used, the symbolism, dammit), so if you're kind enough to read this drivel, I don't see why you shouldn't get some yarn for your trouble.

Speaking of hand-dyed goodness, I dipped into my sock yarn stash and started making a baby hat out of some yarn I dyed up with Kool-Aid a while back. It was my first and only attempt at dying and, folks, I'm not hating it. The red-to-pink interspersed with blue-to-purple is actually knitting up very pretty. I'll put up a picture once I think about it and I'm near a functioning camera. The HusBoy doesn't want me doing a whole lot of dying until we have more room for me to do it in, but has agreed that I can go nuts with it if we move to a place with a patio where he can barbecue. Has anyone dyed yarn on a bbq?

Columbus, OH

KnittingWounded: Husboy?

HusBoy: Yes?

KW: Have you ever felt the burning urge to go to Columbus, OH?

HB: Nope.

KW: Think you can develop one by this summer?

HB: Uhm, why? (sees the dopey expression on KW's face) Yarn?

KW: (looking down sheepishly) Yarn.


So, we're probably not going to Knitter's Connection next year, but sign-ups start soon if anyone's interested. Is anyone who suffers through my blog going to Stitches West in February? I'm still debating whether to go or not.

Nesting

I don't know what it is lately, but I cannot seem to come home without some new yarn. I didn't hit the desert yarn shop this work week, but I was inexplicable drawn waaaay off the beaten path home and picked up some Noro at the ocean yarn shop.

Noro Silk Garden Bulky. Why wasn't I told?!?

This is the last picture the camera was able to save before it's poor overworked batteries gasped their last. Afterwards, of course, Stinker commenced to nuzzle, lick, and eventually unravel the little brown ball. I think she approves.

This is, unfortunately, is the complete extent of my participation in Norovember. I have been even more lax in my duties as part of the Sock Stash Elimination Campaign. I have actually pulled out the only active project on sock yarn; whatever possessed me to cast on MORE lace I do not know.

But, it's all going to be okay. Honest. Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages...

The body of the DUCK sweater is done. My cup overfloweth all over my ugly green carpet. Two sleeves and some henley button-up knitting and we will have secret sweater goodness ready to deliver. Thanks to all who worried for my elbows, sleep and sanity, especially errs, who assisted me in thinking of a great gifts to give the dorky boys and kitties in my life.

I may have to get Stinker more yarn...

Booyah

I know, I know. Three posts in one night, you're thinking that it's bedtime for this little blogger. I just wanted to announce to the entire world (except the HusBoy, of course):

THE BACK OF THE SWEATER IS DONE!!!

I may actually get this thing done before my needles rust. Booyah.

Ech, I have to get up in a few hours. Me go bed now. Thank you.

Look What I Made!

Okay, I'm sick of the blog format and don't know what to do about it. Blogger used to be so friendly to the technologically inept such as myself, but I can't seem to get buttons up anymore, and I'd like to do some stuff with pictures too.

Stuff like this:

Okay, I'll admit it, it's rough and crappy-looking right now, but once I get my hands on the source photo instead of one ripped off my own crappy-looking blog, we'll be in business. I may even get myself some moo cards...

The Torturous Comfy Chair

I'm hoping you all got the "comfy chair" reference. If not, go out and discover some Monty Python, post haste!

During my current work assignment that takes me away from home oh so much, I have stayed at four hotels, and my favorite so far is the Hilton Garden Inn. It's not so much for the 24-hour access to fitness equipment, the availability of room service, or even the nightly cookies at the front desk. No, the reason I like to stay here (among others) is the fact that they provide a Knitting Chair in every room. A big, cushy, red chair with a big lamp behind it that provides excellent lighting and a footstool in front for the hard-working tootsies. I don't believe they advertise this particular perk; perhaps they want to avoid hordes of rowdy knitters? In any case, if you happen to check out of one of these fine rooms and find that your knitters chair is absent, I was probably there before you and figured out a way to sneak it into my luggage.

This Comfy Chair is what I fell asleep in yesterday afternoon shortly after posting. I did eventually slog into bed, and woke up almost exactly eight hours later. Now, I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but I get damn sluggish if I get more than 8 hours of nappy time. So, I slogged back out of bed, returned to the comfy chair, and proceeded to finish the around 'n' around 'n' around part of the DUCK project and began the back arm shaping. Of course, after all of this the long-distance HusBoy has gotten on my nerve. Long-distance conflict, especially STUPID long-distance conflict, makes me want to knit this sweater in the jacuzzi downstairs and see if it felts.

I wonder if the Spanish Inquisition folks used a jacuzzi as water-torture?

I Was Surprised Too

Sorry about the hiccup of a blogpost yesterday, but I was knocked-off-my-tush tired. It's not bad enough that I drive over a hundred miles to get to and from every week after spending the last few months driving maybe five miles a week, but the HusBoy and I went and did the mini-golf/laser-tag/batting-cages thing the day before my trek. Between you, the world-wide-web, and I, but I was sooo sore and exhausted the next day; my sedentary ways are catching up to me perhaps.

I've got good news on the knitting front: I'm further along on the DUCK project than originally thought. When I went fishing for new yarn to pack the original package of 10 balls only had 4 in it. I know it's not a gigantic difference, but I'll take an extra ball's worth of progress any day of the week. I should be up to the armholes this evening, nap-time non-withstanding.

In my sudden flurry of casting on, I started the shoulder-warmer shrug from Wrap Style for my aunt. Instead of trying to keep track of rows, I'm sectioning off increase areas with my BECKA stitch markers and counting those instead. A little more math, but quite a lot less "shut up, I'm trying to count over here".

Off to listen to more Lime 'n' Violet and knit up to the armholes... Happy knitting!

Finally! Pictures!

Hey there folks! I can't even explain how tired I am right now, so I'm going to cop out and catch up on some pictures that I've been neglecting...

Sara's Damn That Was Easy Scarf, don't remember the yarn off hand, done in 3 hours on US17 needles.

Detail of the Point 5 "pom".

My newest creation, the Quickie Ribbed Toddler Hat, made of Baby Twist from Alpaca With A Twist. One afternoon on US6 dpns.

Oh yeah, and my Knitpicks order came in... Turns out I needed the US11 dpn's after all. I'm making my aunt a shawl out of the Wrap Style book. More details and links tomorrow afternoon once I get some shut-eye...

The Campaign Begins

I fell asleep last night with maybe 7 yards left on my last DUCK skein (the last one with me, not the last one last one). Cute little fact about me, no matter where I go in the world, I always sleep on one side of the bed. It's almost like I'm saving a spot for my dear HusBoy, but when I'm on my own the other side usually has my bag, my knitting, and whatever else I was playing with before I fell asleep. Of course, when I'm home I hog the ENTIRE bed, but I think that's just so the aforementioned HusBoy doesn't sneak into bed without giving me snuggles. I know, I'm gagging a little too...



Anyhoo, the Sock Stash Elimination Campaign began last night in earnest, which means I gots to get my behind in gear and start knitting up some of that stash into campaign-completing items, and since I've got an itch to knit a hat, I think that's what I'll do. More info on that once I'm reunited with the stash.



Speaking of overloading the needles, I also just signed up for Norovember. I just bought the pattern to the absolutely gorgeous felted purse I fell in love with at Fanciwerks. Since I've been spending so much out here I figured I'd at least get the Noro at a lys closer to home, so I've got a plan. Now, if I could only find the time...



And, real quick, I want to give a shout-out to the folks on Ravelry who tracked me down and told me how special I am. And though none of them came out and offered to knit me some sort of special hat to wear on the special bus, the thought is well appreciated! Now, back to those seven yards...

Math is No One's Friend

You'd figure, as a knitter, I would be more math-friendly. I mean, aren't we all just building geometric, 3-D shapes that sometimes impress the heck out of us? Yes we are, and I'm still not. Friendly. Towards math. At all.

"Why? For the love of wool, why?", all the number-nuzzling fiberistas cry. Well, I did some icky math and figured out that:

20 skeins of yarn
-5 skeins knit already
15 skeins to knit before Christmas

and

15 skeins to knit/5 weeks (away from home)=
I have to knit at least 3 skeins a week to meet the deadline.

If anyone was wondering why I'm not gifting the DUCK for Hanukkah, you can probably figure out why I'm opting to get him a mezuzah. This year the Festival of Lights comes a bit earlier in the month, and right now I'm only busting through 2 a week. Even this rate of production may be affected once I get to a point where I have to pay attention to what I'm doing, not to mention that my arms are already a little achy from said busting. 1+2=I'm so out of luck on this one. Or 3, depends on whether you're working in base 10 or 8. (apologies to Tom Lehrer, another case of can't help myself).

So, I'm going to go now and do some more busting and busting up with LnV. I think I'm on episode 14(?). The HusBoy may owe them a thank-you note if this sweater ever gets done.