Nuts To You!

I didn't go to school this morning. I didn't answer when work called. I have not knit a stitch today (not entirely my idea).

Nuts to you all, I'm taking a day off.

I woke up at the chilly, ungodly hour of 5:30 and thought "I'm cold. I need to work on my sweater." I was tired, crabby, cold, and hadn't had a not-running-around day in weeks. So I did not get up for school. I spent time with Boy. I went grocery shopping. I took a nap and baked banana bread. I am a happy camper.

The only bummer today has been the total lack on knitting. My hand was really bothering me this morning, so I decided to take my no-knitting day today instead of waiting for tomorrow. I knew my hand was going to give out eventually...

No, really? You're knitting a sweater, a kitty, and a gigantic sock almost non-stop lately; the only time you're not knitting is when you're at work typing like a loon. You stopped going to physical therapy. I'm surprised you can do anything with that useless left limb.

Nuts to you, Logic. I'm taking a day off, go be insightful somewhere else.

So, instead of knitting on my day off, I am planning a new project: the Winter Star Hat and Mitten Set. It will hopefully use up the 3 skeins of variegated blue/white acrylic and some pretty star-shaped beads I have left over from another hat last year. The entire haul was given to me by Boy's grandmother with many other skeins of acrylic that is now taking up 2 shelves of the bookshelf we picked up at Ikea. I found a pretty cool way to store them so that I can test color patterns: They have strips of cardboard between the skeins so all the little ends stick out. I will have to change this system once I convert to wool (dirty moths), but it's really working for me now.

I'm going to finish my dinner and hang out with my Boy. It's my day off.

About the Roommates

Just got back from watching Napoleon Dynamite with the Roommates. They have the cutest dog in the whole world. Well, I am assuming Winston, the furry blur, is a dog. In any case, a doggie sweater is definitely in order; that apartment is cold! Jessie also wants a cat, so she'll be getting this for her birthday (two days after mine, yipee!). Baby Ava will also get one, as long as I don't get sidetracked by another possible gift.

I told Jen (Roomate 1) that I put the pattern for her headband on the blog. I told her it was called the Roommate Headband. I may have upset her, so I think I need to tell the Roommates (and the world apparently) why they are the Roommates:

Jen and Jessie started at my work last year, and they are the cutest couple ever. Like, I hear the song from Cinderella when she and Prince Charming are dancing cute. So when they said they were roommates, I thought "yeah, right. Roommates." So, this is what I started referring to them as when I would talk to Adam about them. It kinda stuck.

There is another reason, though I really really REALLY don't want to go into it right now. Suffice it to say that two people with the same first names made me terribly unhappy. There was a time not too long ago when Jessica and Jennifer were curse words in my presence, doubly so when put together. So, instead of saying "Jennifer and Jessica" or some derivitive thereof, I just call them the Roommates. Since I haven't really passed out the address of my blog, I'll have to tell them in person. I hope this gets me out of trouble, we're supposed to go to the Getty on Thursday after I get out of class.

As this is the un-knittingest blog entry ever (I did get a few more inches on Boy's toe-up socks), here's a gift:


I found a picture of me! This was taken on my last trip to see my grandparents during my one and only surfing lesson, and the only picture where I'm not holding my nose and falling in. I have no balance, but I will try surfing again. I have this idea that if I learn to surf I will suddenly get in shape and be cool and not be fat and pasty... Eh, weirder things have happened.

I'm not worthy, but I'm trying to be...

Guess what! The Harlot actually wrote me back! She was very supportive of my weenie sock pledge for the Knitting Olympics. She wants the URL to the blog! She's even promised not to read it! That is why Stephanie is my favorite person I've never actually met. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I was a little disapointed when I didn't hear back from her immediately, but automatically assumed that she was hella-busy and didn't have time to deal with a nobody like me. It turns out she did get right back to me, but the stupid mail sorter put her reply into the junk (they call it "bulk) bin and I just came across it looking for something my ex sent me. I am so stupidly happy, I'm glad she won't be reading it. I'm entrenched in October 2004 of her blog and getting an itch to try mittens.

Reasons I'm glad the Harlot won't be reading my blog:
1. I am a serious bore. She's got enough to do.
2. I don't even have any pictures.
3. I have been dreaming about her bestest buddy, Ken. Not that kind of dream you perv, but it's enough to make me think I need to come up out of her blog and get some air. Or move to Toronto, whatever.
4. I started my "Knitting Olympics" project Wednesday evening. No worries, Boy can always use more socks.
5. I am such an amature, I'm afraid she'll see my ineptitude and burst out laughing, eventually causing injury.
6. I am much funnier in real life. Hysterical really. Problem is, as I try to translate this endless mirth into blog form, I have found that I may be copying her style. I'd rather not get on her bad side. She's pretty powerful; she has her own friggin' Olympics for crying out loud.

Knitting update:

Chocolate Mariah - I've done 5 rows on the sleeve this week. We're having issues to say the least.

Boy's Sock #2 - I was going to save this for the Knitting Olympics, but couldn't resist. I'll start a new pair for the event. I'm doing toe-up for this one and having a blast with it! I'm using not-sock yarn and size 4(us) needles, but that's what he picked out at the LYS.

Roommate Hat is done. Was done halfway on the trip to my first day of school on Tuesday actually. Was bored and had leftover yarn that did not really belong to me. Ended up looking at the Panta Pattern on Craftster.org. Decided I didn't want to use a pattern for a stupid headband, and made up one myself. I will now insult your intelligence and publish my first "pattern"! Any similarity to other patterns is due to its almost moronic simplicity:

ROOMMATE HEADBAND

Done on size 10.5(us) needles with Lion Homespun. Fits a 20" head, though ties make it uber-adjustable.

Cast on 10 stitches (I like the knit cast on for, well, everything). Stockinette stitch for about 2 inches. 10 stitches

On rs row: K4, make a purl stitch, K2, Make another purl stitch, K4. 12 stitches
ws row: P4, K1, P2, K1, P4
rs row: K4, P1, K2, P1, K4
Continue these two rows for two more inches, ending on a rs row. 4 inches

On rs row: K2, make a purl stitch, K2, P1, K2, P1, K2, make a purl stitch, K2. 14 stitches
ws row: P2, *K1, P2* Repeat between the * to end of row
rs row: K2, *P1, K2* Repeat between the * to end of row
Continue these two rows for two more inches, ending on a rs row. 6 inches

On rs row: K2, P1, K2, make a purl stitch, P1, K2, P1, K2, make a purl stitch, P1, K2. 16 stitches
ws row: P2, K1, P2, K2, P2, K1, P2
rs row: K2, P1, K2, P2, K2, P1, K2
Continue these two rows for two more inches, ending on a rs row. 8 inches

On rs row: K2, P1, make a purl stitch, K2, P2, K2, P2, K2, make a purl stitch, P1, K2. 18 stitches
ws row: P2, *K2, P2* Repeat between the * to end of row
rs row: K2, *P2, K2* Repeat between the * to end of row
Continue these two rows for FOUR more inches, ending on a rs row. 12 inches

Note: if expanding this pattern by, lets say, adding another purl section to make the whole thing longer and wider, two inches into this area is the halfway point, a very good place to start expanding. Further note: No jokes about my expanding halfway point. I am going to start pilates again as soon as I can find my floor...

Now, work the pattern in reverse:

On rs row: K2, P2 tog, K2, P2, K2, P2, K2, P2 tog, K2. 16 stitches
ws row: P2, K1, P2, K2, P2, K1, P2
rs row: K2, P1, K2, P2, K2, P1, K2
Continue these two rows for two more inches, ending on a rs row. 14 inches

On rs row: K2, P1, K2, P2 tog, K2, P2 tog, K2, P1, K2. 14 stitches
ws row: P2, *K1, P2* Repeat between the * to end of row
rs row: K2, *P1, K2* Repeat between the * to end of row
Continue these two rows for two more inches, ending on a rs row. 16 inches

On rs row: K2, decrease purl stitch, K2, P1, K2, decrease purl stitch, K2. 12 stitches
ws row: P4, K1, P2, K1, P4
rs row: K4, P1, K2, P1, K4
Continue these two rows for two more inches, ending on a rs row. 18 inches

On rs row: K4, decrease purl stitch, K2, decrease purl stitch, K4. 10 stitches
Continue in stockinette stitch for 2 inches, ending with 20 inches all together.

Bind off and weave in ends. Add ties of your own choosing to each corner to tie it to your noggin.

Any problems you have with this pattern are between you and the pattern. But drop me a line anyhoo; I'll try to mediate.

Dear Harlot!

I may have done something creepy. I wrote to my idol, the Harlot herself...

Dear Harlot!

It seems funny to call someone that without getting slapped immediately afterwards. I don't want to be another creepy fan, but I really love your books and am working my way through your blog archive (it's funny what you can get done while pretending to work on spreadsheets). You inspired me to start taking my knitting seriously and I wanted to thank you. I've even started my own blog, though I am very afraid someone will actually read it...

Anyway, I wanted to throw my hat into one of the Knitting Olympics rings. Actually, if it's alright I'll be throwing in a pair of socks. The last pair took me 2.5 months, so this will be quite a challenge. My size-13 footed boyfriend has the gall to want more socks. He's been quite tolerant of the whole knitting obsession so far; I guess it's the least I can do.

Wow, I can't believe I'm actually writing to you, a real knitting celebrity. I promise not to stalk you or anything. Thank you for sharing your wooly experience!

Do you thing all my references to being creepy may have made me seem even creepier? I didn't want to seem overly giggly or fawn over her or anything... OMG, I wrote to the Yarn Harlot!!!

Two Wrongs Make Felt

Hey All!

Yesterday sucked. Just a bad day, no question about it. So, Boy's soaking in the tub (ciatic nerve thingy) and I'm finishing this beaded scarf and I'm hating it. I am starting to despise it and question my ability to knit at all. I do a half-assed job of weaving in the ends, jump online and read about 5 seconds worth of felting tips, go back in the bathroom and begin to hand felt the scarf. (Yes, Boy was in the tub at this time. To his credit, he hardly looked suprised at all.)

It was magic! It literally saved the day from being a complete loss. The irritating, stretchy, boring scarf became this thick, funky piece of cloth. I have never actually owned anything woolen before, so this was wholy new to me. After I was satisfied with its feltiness, I did a poor job of blocking it and put it away for the evening. It is currently hanging over the bathroom rail drying. It may not be professional, or straight, or something I would give as a gift, but it made me truly happy, and that is quite enough for me.

Still no pictures, but here are the stats if you want them:

Yarn: Rowan dk soft, 85% wool, 15% polyamide
Knit on size 5 needles from the beaded scarf pattern at the end of Scarf Style
Felted by hand for about, lets say, 20 minutes in warm bathtub water.


I am still planning on making the beaded fingerless mittens out of the same yarn and beads, but I think I'll keep them unfelted.

On a personal note, I start college again tomorrow morning. I've been saving the Roommate's hat until I start the commute back and forth. Lots of time for lots of no-chart no-pattern no-booboo knitting =) After this, Boy's Socks #2!

Say No to Drugs and Stay in School

Double bummer today.

Boy suggested I take a sleeping pill last night so I'd actually get some sleep before my 5:30 am shift today. I took the recommended dose of two pills, eventually went to bed, and had a perfectly miserable night. I started crying and flailing at about 10 pm, then settled down and woke up disoriented at 3:30ish. It took me lying in bed for about a half hour to remember who I was, where I was, and what the heck I was supposed to be doing. I have had a killer hangover all day as well. We've decided that if I need to put myself to sleep, we'll try one pill next time.

Pretty standard Sunday morning shift; I was actually really productive within my haze... got all my work done and half of Mikey's. Mikey was cool with it though, he has a safety audit to do, so he actually needed the free time. Ah, the joys of being a babysitter for Verizon.

So I come home, soak in the tub with my copy of Yarn Harlot for a bit, then go to work on the Chocolate Mariah sleeve, which I was proud to say reached most of the way up my arm. Why "was"? Because I happened to look at the pattern again and, brace yourself...

I was supposed to start increasing about 18 inches ago.

Crap.

Why do I get such a mental block reading patterns? Why can't I read the whole thing before I start? I know I should, but my mind goes blank once I start reading. I also figured I'd just follow the chart. This is the first pattern I'm using that has a chart, so I got really excited and didn't read the part in the directions that say to increase after the first 6 inches. This is totally my fault, rookie mistake. Stay in school kids, literacy comes in really useful.

So, I'm trying to keep my tantrum tastefully quiet and short when Boy says, get this: "I thought you were a 'process knitter', this gives you more to knit, you should be happy." I am happy to report that he is still alive, but he had to wrestle the needles away from me.

I have ripped out a full skein and a half of yarn, about a week's worth of knitting, put all 64 stitches back on the needle (counted them about a million times) and started again, adding the increases. I hope I learned something from today, but to be honest, I still haven't read the instructions entirely. I'll buckle down and read them tonight, swear!

One more thing...

About my hand: it wasn't nerve damage, the doctor was just itching to cut my hand open. The nerves may be irritated, but I was downright pi$$ed. Friggin' quacks.

Blog? What Blog?

Well, nuts.

I'm sorry, anyone foolish enough to read my blog and think I was going to ever come back and work on it. It proves how little aquainted we are... I do have an excuse, but it will sound lame. I had a teeny breakdown and didn't sit at my computer at all for about a month and a half. I'm mostly better now, but I failed my Critical Thinking class at University of Phoenix. So, I will by paying Verizon back for the class over the next few months. Yay me =(

Okay, so where were we? Oh, the holidays went suprisingly well. I screamed and cried almost every day, but still delivered hand-knit goodies to most of the women in my family, mostly WIP's that I finally wrapped up and, uh, wrapped up. I got a skein of recycled silk from The Hunger Site which I was planning to turn into a scarf for my neato Aunt Judy with this pattern. It is even more beautiful than it looks on the site, but the material took a little getting used to. I ended up giving that scarf to my ex's mother and bought 3 more skeins that I hand-wound while watching Fever Pitch with Boy. Long story short; Aunt Judy got her scarf, Boy's stepmom Ruth got one, and I actually broke down and kept one for myself. I even wear it, picture to come. My Aunt Sandy got a checkered scarf and headband that just needed finishing, and my Dad's girlfriend got a spiral scarf and some funky earmuff-thingies. I even finished another project and slapped it in a box, perfect Secret Santa present. Will this ever happen again? NO. All those projects had been sitting around for months/years/decades, so next year I will be neck-in-neck with the rest of you trying to get my holiday knitting done before we take the tree to the curb.

In other news: Boy's socks are finally done! I got the finishing done while watching the Rose Parade, maybe the third playing, but I'm not sure. While he didn't actually dance in them, he did wear them when we went out later to run errands. He said they were the most comfortable socks he's ever had and can't wait for another pair. Crap.

Currently, I am 2/3 through the first sleeve of my Chocolate Mariah. I joined the 2006 Year of the Sweater KnitALong at knittinghelp.com. I am right on schedule, but everyone else is way ahead of me. Not bad for my first sweater, but the pressure is on. It is a gorgeous pattern, but I am not used to a longterm project like this. I'm used to doubling up my yarn so I can whip out a hat in two days. I need a freeking digicam!!! Pitures to come, promise!

There is more, but I want something to write about later on. I will try my best to keep this thing updated from now on, life permitting. Don't expect me every day or anything, but if I don't get to you once a week, send help.

2005 Finished Objects List

4 Recycled Silk Scarves
Wilson Colors Hat & Scarf
Dusky Pink Headband & Scarf
Spiral Scarf & Earmuffs
Brown Fuzzies Scarf
Practice Sock (my 1st!)
Lots of stuff I just don't remember...